My Eyes Are Open / Tokyo, Japan

There I stood in the Miami International Airport terminal, lugging my bags across moving walkways and broken escalators. I took a moment to glance down at my boarding pass. American Airlines flight 219 with service to Tokyo, Japan. Unbelievable. How could this possibly be, I wondered. Me, Nicholas James Harbaugh, All-American College Floridian in the Land of the Rising Sun? My brain struggled desperately–and in utter futility–to wrap itself around this impossibly immense reality check.

I finally got some time to rest on the plane as I had not slept the previous night. The plan was to change planes in L.A.–Across the Gulf of Mexico, over Texas, and into California. The Rocky Mountains looked like wrinkles on some ancient face from 39,000 ft. As I jetted out of California and left America behind, something dawned on me. I had never seen the Pacific Ocean. Before long the misty shores of a small archipelago of islands appeared on the horizon. I had arrived.

What can I say about Japan? No amount of watching Anime or studying Japanese language and guide books could have possibly prepared me for the actual, earth-shattering experience. I find it extremely difficult to find words to accurately emphasize the vast and sweeping weirdness. Let’s just say that the phrase “culture shock” falls retardedly short. EVERYTHING is different. NOTHING is familiar. Even the McDonald’s hamburgers have their own Japanese twist. One example: they serve McPork burgers here. I’m going to do the best I can to sum it up in one sentence at great detriment to my sanity and all for the benefit my adoring readers. Ok, here I go: Tokyo is a whirling hurricane of neon euphoria erupting, oozing, gushing, ejaculating, exploding forth from every street, mouth, light, crack, face, sound, subway, star, rainbow; an inexorable uber-cute acid trip that leaves you so utterly and perfectly sensory-overloaded that you are left convulsing, twitching and foaming at the mouth, curled up in the fetal position on the immaculately clean sidewalk.

*whew* I think I just killed a few braincells there. In every sense of the words Tokyo is a real… life… videogame. If you want to catch a glimmer of what it’s truly like just listen to “Purple Haze” by Sabrepulse and try and imagine it as a place. Moving on…

I met an Australian couple at breakfast the morning after I arrived here. Needless to say, it was a great relief to speak English to someone. During the day I collected enough courage to venture out into the engulfing horror of the unknown, i.e. outside my hotel room. I went to the Roppongi district which is a short walk from my area. Roppongi was an appropriate introduction to Tokyo–very hip and youth culture-oriented. At the heart lies Roppongi Hills, an ultra-modern mini city built only about three or four years ago by a crazed Japanese billionaire. His vision: a completely self-contained neighborhood with all the comforts of contemporary and future suburban life crammed into a series of impossibly high sky-scrapers.

That night I met up with the Australians in Shinjuku to try and find a mystical section of the district that doesn’t exist. We ended up wandering blindly into an underground bar with a live Japanese band that played American oldies hits. It ended up being one of the most amazing experiences of my life. At the end of the night I stumbled back to my hotel and collapsed on my bed completely exhausted but euphoric. I love this place.

Pictures will be posted on facebook. Search “happyhatchet” on youtube for videos.

Sorry it took me so long to post. Keep checking for updates. I actually just returned from a crazy, four-day excursion to Kyoto and Tokyo with my childhood friend, Michael but I must save that for another post.

Stay frosty,

-N

A Galaxy of FUN!

Well ladies and germs,  Super Mario Galaxy is finally out and my expectations could not have been more surpassed. The game will pry open your third eye to a dazzling new universe of shattered conventions. It only proves once more that in the world of platformers, Nintendo continues to set the bar–and set it high.

In addition to a very warm reception from critics, the game also received high praise from the ones who matter–the grassroots gamers (especially those of the hardcore Nintendo variety like yours truly). According to IGN, if Super Mario Sunshine was Gamecube’s Super Mario Bros. 2, then Galaxy is certainly Wii’s totally redeemed Super Mario 3.

My suggestion to anyone out there who doesn’t have it is to buy it immediately. And if you don’t have a Wii, buy one and then buy it. It’s just that friggin’ good.

-N

Choose Your Destiny

Hello, friends.

I haven’t been with you for a little while because of my tremendous work load as of late. I finally caught a break and was able to come up for a little air before a second plunge into the staggering depths of “The Unlearned.” But hey, They are training the future of America and They don’t screw around. No not for a second, bubba.

So apparently we are at war with some indistinct, nebulous evil that’s very far away. People keep telling me, “pull out of Iraq” this and “support our troops” that, so and so, yada yada. As far as I’m concerned, this is horse hockey. This war doesn’t affect me in the least bit. I don’t see bullets whizzing past my head, do you? These massive power upheavals and faraway wholesale societal decay don’t keep me from driving to the store to by my Nutter Butters. So why all the hullabaloo? I don’t have post traumatic stress disorder, do you? I thought not. Besides, it’s delightful entertainment. Nowadays I can turn on any news channel and watch the death and destruction from a nice safe place on my couch in the air conditioning. Makes a great cure for the daytime television blues, if ya know what I mean. As far as I’m concerned Mr. Bush is a pioneer of the entertainment industry. Working in collaboration with the geniuses behind CNN and FOX, they have single-handedly created an entirely new and exciting form of reality TV. Who would have thought that war would be so entertaining?

NOW THE TIME HAS COME! YOU WILL REAP WHAT YOU SOW UNWARY SINNERS! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

~~Choose your destiny~~

Door #1

Door #2

-N

The Perks and Perils of WordPress

I seem to have a problem.

I just recently started this blog principally for the purposes of my Social Networking class at the University of Miami taught by the knowledgeable and prestigious Social Media Mogul, Alex de Carvalho. For a while it was going fine. I was able to use my own domain name and I knew I had the option of customizing the CSS. However, just recently I stumbled upon something disquieting. I was going about obtaining a Creative Commons license and it was when I was reading the directions on how to put the license logo on my blog page that I noticed something was amiss.

Creative Commons provided instructions on how to install the logo on several well-known blogging platforms, but not WordPress. Puzzled, I went back to my WordPress blog site and discovered that when one pays to have the option of editing the CSS on one’s page, WordPress doesn’t allow you to edit the HTML as well. They cited “security reasons” as the explanation. I later learned the subtle but important difference between wordpress.com and wordpress.org. Apparently, if I wish to edit my own CSS, I must pay for web hosting through wordpress.org.

Through further research, I found out that Blogger, the Google-owned blogging platform, allows its users to edit CSS & HTML as well as apply their own domain name–all for friggin’ free. The only catch is that they throw on a little two or three-pica Blogger advert. at the top of the page with blog search capabilities, “next blog” button, and so on.

Needless to say, this conundrum has curtailed my blogging frequency. I have been bugged over the past week or so by this annoying little question: do I stick with WordPress, continue to pay a yearly fee, and yet not be able to edit HTML enough even to get a Creative Commons logo on my page, or switch to Blogger and pay nothing but have an annoying ad forever atop my page?

Discuss…

-N

The Finest Governmental Institution in History

Well that darn government is at it again. The guitarist/producer for Death Cab For Cutie, Chris Walla, has been trying to come out with a long-anticipated solo album for about the past four years. Apparently, it is on the verge of being completed, but it just recently hit a major snag.

According to MTV News, and I quote,

“the master hard drive — containing all song files — was confiscated by Homeland Security at the Canadian border, for reasons not abundantly clear, and sent to the department’s computer-forensics division for further inspection.”

As expressed by Walla in an interview with MTV, his new album does have strongly political overtones. Hmm, I’d say that’s perfectly good justification to be a FUCKING NATIONAL SECURITY RISK!! Am I just crazy or is the whole system of our democratic government just unraveling before my eyes? Was this country not built upon basic civil liberties like Freedom of Expression and Habeas Corpus?

I’d like to say that I remember a better time in which one was protected from arbitrary government action, but the thing that most disturbs me is that I can’t. I’ve had to put up with these inhuman, tyrannical Nazis for all four years of my High School experience and now I’m suffering them for my entire college career as well. What a time to grow up in. Unbelievable.

-N

In Rainbows: A Journey of the Mind

 And now… a story that will (hopefully) be published in The Miami Hurricane. Enjoy.

 The release of In Rainbows came as a shock to both ardent Radiohead fans and media conglomerate fat cats alike. Rumored to be released sometime in 2008, the album’s fuzzy status was suddenly made starkly clear in a surprise post on Radiohead’s weblog, Dead Air Space, in which they announced that it would be released on October 10^th. Astonishingly, Radiohead decided to distribute In Rainbows exclusively online and in the absence of a record contract. And, in a completely unprecedented move, they let consumers decide how much they feel is reasonable to pay for the album. It’s certainly worth making a donation because Radiohead’s newest album is not one you will soon forget. 

 In Rainbows is a psychedelic trip through a jagged yet exquisite dreamscape sculpted by the genius of a madman. One envisions, as he or she listens, a vast mental plane of rolling hills that shifts like a chameleon from cascading melodies one minute to tight, driving rhythm the next. The first thing one notices about In Rainbows is the absence of the palpable paranoid overtones of previous albums like Kid A and Ok Computer. Rather, the outward appearance of the music is quite happy. With sweeping orchestral accompaniment, In Rainbows is more mellow and melodic. However, upon closer listening, one finds that there runs a dark undercurrent of cynicism, frustration and even rage towards the state of world today. This is especially apparent in “Bodysnatchers,” through which lead singer, Thom Yorke, expresses his morbid outlook on the new millennium. The tight composition of the album gives the illusion of simplicity when, in reality, each track is deeply complex.

 Overall, In Rainbows is a tour de force for Radiohead. Its elegance, complexity and maturity are indicative of an album far ahead of its time.

 

The Beautiful and Tumultuous Future of the Music Industry

Well, it’s official: Radiohead’s new album is coming out on October 10th. I can hardly believe it any more than any of you people out there. Their “press release” is simply hilarious. Taken from Dead Air Space, Radiohead’s weblog:

Hello everyone.
Well, the new album is finished, and it’s coming out in 10 days;
We’ve called it In Rainbows.
Love from us all.

Jonny

This was posted on Monday, October 1st, and believe me, it caused quite a row in every circle from fans to record company execs. Well, the uninitiated might ask, “Okay, they’re releasing the album much earlier than people expected, what’s the big deal.” Let me break it down for you.

One of the reasons why this album, In Rainbows, took Radiohead so damn long to record (a staggering 4 and a half years) was that they were working on it under no record contract. This means they funded it completely on their own. According to a couple interviews with Thom, they were, for a while, half-heartedly searching for a label to package, produce and distribute the album. But then Thom got an idea…

Here’s the scene as I picture it in my mind:

They’ve finished the album and Radiohead is sitting around the studio, having a nice warm cup o’ tea, exchanging good-natured banter, and sharing a immense feeling of accomplishment (as I’m sure all bands do after they’ve finished a long and taxing project) with one another. “So, how should we release this thing?” Jonny asks, still glowing with a certain, post-jam elation that only fellow musicians (like myself) can understand. Thom is staring into the distance, a smirk creeping across his cheeks. “What if,” he says with a mischievous pause, “…what if we released it ourselves.” “How do you mean, Thom,” Colin calls from over his shoulder, kneeling, laying his bass to rest in a velveteen case. Thom gets up, now gripped with inspiration. “Yes! Yes, of course that’s it!” He begins to pace the length of the studio, absorbed in his devious thoughts while his bandmates stare on in curious anticipation. Finally, Thom exclaims, “We’ll release it online! Haha and bollocks to the record industry! We’ve been force-fed their slime for far too long. It’s time that we stick it to them.” He sits back down and takes a triumphant sip from his teacup, a subversive fire twinkling in his eyes. Everyone pauses for a moment to take this in, looking around at each other, the same devious smirk growing on their faces. Finally, Jonny laughs heartily, in spite of himself. “Thom, we will never see the end to your trickery. It’s brilliant… simply brilliant.”

But, that’s not all. Most likely the most jarring and surprising aspect of the release is that Radiohead is allowing us, the consumers, to name our own price. That’s right, folks, you can choose the amount you wish to pay for the album. On their website, when pre-ordering the download, one runs into a curious blank text box, cursor flashing, with a question mark following it. Upon clicking the question mark, an strange answer flashes on the screen, “It’s up to you.” When one clicks the question mark a second time the website only reiterates its initial statement, “No, it’s really up to you.” According to an article by The Motley Fool, “few people are paying less than the going rate for an album.”

What’s the significance of all this? Well, usually, when a band releases an album under a record contract, the band sees only pennies for each CD sold while the money-grubbing record companies keep the vast majority of the money. By distributing the album online, Radiohead is cutting out the middle man completely. And they’re getting 100% profit. This is how they are able to let people pick the price they wish to pay. They figure that the album is going to be shared online anyways so what better way to release it than to offer it as potentially free. It stops people in their tracks, that’s for sure. Personally, I payed 4 pounds for the album (probably around 8-10 American dollars. Thanks, Dubya.)

So, could this be the future of the record industry? Well, I leave that up to you, the consumer, to decide. Would you rather support the bands you love directly and fuck all the record companies and swill merchants in America with the swift middle finger of poetic justice or continue to be a corporate slave? They’re terrified. This little subversive album release is scaring every fat, moneyed white man who sits atop his Warner/Sony/EMI throne to death. And it shows. The RIAA’s last desperate grope for some semblance of power is almost pitiful. What a great time to be alive.

This is the time for action, ladies and gentlemen. The moment of truth. Red pill or blue pill, pick one.

Good luck, America

-Nick

They Pulled the Fast One, Boys

RADIOHEAD!

In rainbows!

New Album!

10 days!!!

…everything going dark.

Go here.

Now, excuse me while I pass out for a couple hours.

God save the Queen…..

Long Live Thom Yorke!

Ladies and Gentlemen…

The new Radiohead album is scheduled for release sometime in 2008. I can honestly say I have never in my life anticipated an album by any band as I am anticipating this one.

According to nme.com, Yhom Yorke has described the album as being very similar to OK Computer but with far more terrifying lyrics. He goes further (and I absolutely love this) to depict the lyrics as follows, “It’s about that anonymous fear thing, sitting in traffic, thinking, ‘I’m sure I’m supposed to be doing something else’…” What could be more terrifying than the pervasive, normal everyday experience of being an ignorant, blind sheep in a vicious consumerist world in which all those who hold dominion over you wish more than nothing else for you to stay tightly bound, gagged, and blindfolded by the American flag.

I just recently heard an interview with Thom Yorke on youtube in which he explains his belief that much of Radiohead’s early music is very “self-indulgent.” Yorke says he often gets inspiration from his depression or personal experience but when he started out, his lyrics were, for the most part, solely about that. Imitations of Radiohead’s early sound started finding their way to Yorke’s unknowing ears and he had to stop and ask himself, “Wow do we really sound that self-involved?” It was after this realization that Yorke started writing more about politics and other worldly matters, producing such albums as OK Computer, Hail to the Thief, and his solo work: Eraser.

By the look of it, this new album will be the most cynically-viewed that Radiohead has produced yet. And I couldn’t be happier. The day it comes out my friends and I will congregate in a darkened room somewhere in Miami and listen to the entire thing through in utter awe. I can’t hardly contain myself.

I should also add that Radiohead is no longer on contract with EMI, which means they are recording and producing this album entirely on their own. According to Wikipedia, Thom Yorke is quoted as saying, “We have no record contract as such. Any offers?..What we would like is the old EMI back again, the nice genteel arms manufacturers who treated music [as] a nice side project who weren’t too bothered about the shareholders. Ah well, not much chance of that.” Awesome.

Long Live Thom Yorke!

-N

Chug That Chu Jelly

As a devout Nintendo fan and avid collector of classic Nintendo games, systems & accessories, I have always been a fan of one of their flagship franchises: the Legend of Zelda. This magnificent and fantastical touchstone, the concept for which of course originally conceived by The Great One (Miyamoto), has been a commanding force of the Nintendo Army for many years and has led many valiant and victorious campaigns against the infidels in battles past of the Great Console Wars.

I recently finished the latest installment of the Zelda series, Twilight Princess, this past summer. I have to admit, it was everything I was anticipating and more. Complex dungeons, twisted & colossal bosses, familiar characters and compelling storyline, all in a massive world. I felt like a friggin kid again waking up early in the morn to run to the TV room even before I had anything to eat. Despite the Wii’s relatively minute processing power, Nintendo EAD did a wonderful job of making TP a stunning visual masterpiece. If you wish to completely immerse yrself in geekdom, one may purchase sword and shield attachments. I was considering springing for these but then I realized that utter ostracization from society at large would most likely ensue and I decided against it.

One of the most fascinating aspects of the Legend of Zelda series for me is that every game seems to be tied with one another. We see common elements and characters that span the entire series: The Master Sword, Moblins, Octoroks, red/green potions, Ganon and Princess Zelda, among others. Of course in every game the main character is a green tunic-garbed individual named Link. But as we have seen, this Link is not the same in every game and the Zelda sequels do not necessarily run in consecutive order. Rather we have this massive and ambiguous “Zelda Universe” in which every game in the series takes place. Some storylines seem to occur one right after another, as is the case with Ocarina of Time and the lesser-known Majora’s Mask (so we can safely assume), while others seem to jump centuries forward (or backward) in time. In the opening for Gamecube’s Wind Waker, the introductory vignette makes mention of what might be the Ocarina of Time story and leads us to believe that WW takes place centuries (millennia?) afterwards. According to the story, the Land of Hyrule was flooded by the powers that be and the survivors moved to the mountaintops (now islands) and started a new society. Was this the Hyrule of Ocarina or some other reincarnation?

And how does this new episode of the adventures of the Green-Hooded Moblin-Slayer tie in to the rest of the series? Well, I have a theory about that. For one mission in Twilight Princess, Link must travel to a temple ruins deep within the dark & forbidding forest to retrieve the Master Sword. Sound familiar? Well, two things come to mind. In Link to the Past, Link braves the Lost Woods to retrieve the very same sword. In Ocarina of Time, Link travels to the Temple of Time to, again, obtain the Master Sword. I am of the opinion that the temple in TP is the very same legendary monument in Ocarina. The story in TP takes place centuries after Ocarina of Time. The Kokiri Forest of Ocarina overgrew after the Kokiri children were long gone and eventually overtook Hyrule Castle and the surrounding town. As Old Hyrule crumbled, the Temple of Time withstood the weathering of the ages as best it could until, finally, it was the only relic left standing that gave testament to the old world. New settlers moved into the overgrown forest and surrounding countryside and the land became this New Hyrule.

So we have the storylines covered but how on Earth does this same green-hooded Link character keep coming back in completely different time periods? The answer is simple. The series isn’t called the Legend of Zelda for nothing. Throughout time the Zelda Universe is faced with mass chaos, evil autocracy and even annihilation. Not unlike our Universe. There is a pervasive legend that spans the entire series of a brave and powerful green-tunicked hero who will wield a legendary sword to vanquish evil whenever he is needed in history. Every “Link” in each game is a physical manifestation of this legend. Thus, Link becomes the timeless hero. He will never fail, he will never die. And Nintendo will continue to make Legend of Zelda sequels forever.

-N